It was 5 years ago when I first laid eyes on her.  It doesn’t seem like it was quite that long ago, but it has been five years, since the Ogre in me died.  You see, its not that I was cold and unfeeling, its just that I was kind of cold and unfeeling.  Life for me had a certain logic to it.  I had never allowed myself to fully enjoy the ‘Highs” of life because I thought I was protecting myself from “Lows” of life.  So if I won a million bucks, I was like “Ok, I won, next.”  Consequently, if I lost a million bucks, I was like “Ok, I lost, next.”  Hmmm, as I think back on my life, it had a pretty flat affect.

Now fast forward to Nov (2005) when I met her for the first time. When I actually met her, I was like, “WOW!”  She instantly blew my mind way away.  Prior to us meeting, I had observed her over the course of several months, thought about her, even saw a few pictures of her and considered, “It would be cool to meet her,” but I tried not to get to excited though.

I had not planned what I would say, I just thought I would say whatever came naturally, enjoy her company, get to know her, but not necessarily get out of whack.  It would be like, “Ok she’s here, let’s see and proceed forward.  You know, kind of really logical!

Little did I know, once the doctor handed me my daughter for the first time, that not only would my life change, but my heart would change too.  From the nano-second, he put her in my arms and I heard her first cry, I could literally feel my heart melt (I know it sounds like a cliche”) I was enveloped by a range of positive, loving emotions (and tears) that I had not ever allowed myself to consider let alone enjoy.  It was as if O’s birth, was my birth too.

In an instant, I threw away years of logic to really enjoy a heartfelt moment.  I began to smell the roses as I walked by.  I began to listen to the song birds sing and even appreciate the chill of a St. Louis winter.  In one precious moment, I began to live!  I embraced life, and began to share more openly with my family and friends. I  began to cherish all of those special moments that come a long with opening your heart to life’s possibilities. With O’s birth, I began to love!

The Love Guy

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